At one month old, Matthew is 9 pounds, a 2 1/2-pound gain from his 6lb, 9oz birthweight! Probiotics just arrived yesterday for his slightly upset little tummy; hopefully they will help with his small spit-ups, tummy aches, and regular fussiness!
He's a good baby though, and I'm cherishing our special times snuggling together! They don't stay this small for long! I really can't believe he's one month old already! It seems like just yesterday we were discharged from the hospital and brought him home! He's lifting up his head to look around quite a bit, and is quite the strong little guy!
Moms, please see my question for you after the pictures, and respond in a comment if you're able!
Not sure if we've gotten any smiles yet or not, but this is what they'll look like when we start getting them! I love the little sneak-peeks of what babies' smiles will look like!
Question for all moms out there: How have you handled feedings with your newborns? Scheduled? On-demand? A mixture?
I lean more towards scheduling myself. It all makes perfect sense to me in books and on CD, but when it comes to the practical, daily application, there's some kind of breakdown. Matthew had himself on a pretty regular 3-4 hour schedule coming out of the hospital, and we've pretty much just stuck to that. Most of the time, if he's crying less than 3 hours from his last feeding, I'm pretty sure he's not hungry. He almost never eats well when I finally cave and feed him 2 hours from his last feeding. He usually just takes a small snack and goes to sleep.
But if I don't "cave" and give him that little snack to go to sleep, he just sleeps fitfully and cries off and on for quite awhile. But, sometimes he does that even with a snack.... :-/
I'd like to go ahead and get him on a very regular 3-hour schedule (letting him sleep as long as he wants to at night) and see if that helps with the snacking and unpredictability. But what if he eats, is awake for another hour-and-a-half, fusses a little, and then falls sound asleep? Do I really wake him up after just 30-40 minutes to feed him again?
I guess I just get terribly confused over when to follow a schedule, and when to deviate. I want him to have the good, full feedings and the regularity that comes with a schedule, but I don't want to not feed him if he truly does need to eat after 2 hours sometimes. And how do I tell if he needs to?
Any feedback would be appreciated! : )
- Posted using BlogPress from my Super Handy iPhone
Question for all moms out there: How have you handled feedings with your newborns? Scheduled? On-demand? A mixture?
I lean more towards scheduling myself. It all makes perfect sense to me in books and on CD, but when it comes to the practical, daily application, there's some kind of breakdown. Matthew had himself on a pretty regular 3-4 hour schedule coming out of the hospital, and we've pretty much just stuck to that. Most of the time, if he's crying less than 3 hours from his last feeding, I'm pretty sure he's not hungry. He almost never eats well when I finally cave and feed him 2 hours from his last feeding. He usually just takes a small snack and goes to sleep.
But if I don't "cave" and give him that little snack to go to sleep, he just sleeps fitfully and cries off and on for quite awhile. But, sometimes he does that even with a snack.... :-/
I'd like to go ahead and get him on a very regular 3-hour schedule (letting him sleep as long as he wants to at night) and see if that helps with the snacking and unpredictability. But what if he eats, is awake for another hour-and-a-half, fusses a little, and then falls sound asleep? Do I really wake him up after just 30-40 minutes to feed him again?
I guess I just get terribly confused over when to follow a schedule, and when to deviate. I want him to have the good, full feedings and the regularity that comes with a schedule, but I don't want to not feed him if he truly does need to eat after 2 hours sometimes. And how do I tell if he needs to?
Any feedback would be appreciated! : )
- Posted using BlogPress from my Super Handy iPhone
11 comments:
I have 5 children and have fed them all on demand. It seems like about 3 months old, they start kind of putting themselves on a schedule anyway. When they are first born, I feed them all the time it seems! My youngest is 3 1/2 months old and has put himself on a schedule. When he was newborn, he ate every 1/2 an hour to an hour and cried the rest of the time. Once he was about a month old, he would go longer. Now he goes 4 hour sometimes in the afternoons when he naps. The Mylicon gas drops seemed to make all the difference - I think his poor little belly hurt if he ate too much so he would only eat a little at a time. Hope this makes sense!
I know we probably differ a bit in our parenting styles, so you can take my advice with that in mind, but my take is absolutely positively feed on demand. I have done this with both mine, and while it has been more of a sacrifice for me at times, I feel like it is well worth it for multitudinous reasons.
I like to lean more towards "routine" than schedule in our home, but even so, now that mine are older (in perspective to a newborn) at 1.5 and 3.5 they are very predictable even though it's more of a child-led "schedule" (within reason of course).
I'll leave it at that...if you're curious anymore regarding my reasoning and the way I do things, feel free to shoot me a message (on FB) and I'd be happy to answer any questions or explain a bit more. And if you're not interested or don't agree with what I have to say, I completely understand as well. We're all finding our way on this parenting thing together.
Blessings, Lauren!
Oh and to clarify, I did nurse both of mind (still do the 1.5 yr old), so bear that in mind if it makes a difference. Not sure if you're nursing or bottle-feeding. I don't have any experience with bottle/formula, so I won't claim to be of any help in that realm.
Lauren, I'm not sure what the "right" answer is but when we were in the hospital the nurses told us to only give him two ounces every how ever many hours then when we got home he seemed hungry more than that but we weren't sure what to do so we asked our Dr. and he put it this way, "Women in the jungles don't have measured bottles to let them know how much they're feeding their children. The child was designed by God to let you know when they are hungry. So just take his cue." Now, for us, that was the best advice EVER and we took that route and let him determine his feedings which seemed to work perfectly. It's now that he's getting bigger that I am concerned because he is at a point where he doesn't seem to ever want to eat anymore and I'm not sure if I should just continue to let him make the schedule or try to make him eat when we want him to. I know this did not help! I will have to check back and see what others answer. :0) Great pictures though, what a handsome fellow!
Ah, Lauren...that is a tough question indeed! Truly, there are pros and cons to both ways of feeding. I will tell you, we have actually done both with our children. With our first 4, I scheduled them. With all the rest I have fed on demand. My personal experience with this is my younger children were happier, more contented babies that were easier to console. I can't say that is the case with all, but it does seem to have worked that way for us. The upside is a super-sweet bonding with baby and the knowledge they have that Mommy is right there to meet every little need. The downside is a little less sleep for Mommy. :)
I know what you mean about snacking and that is certainly sometimes the case. And maybe it's just that they crave being nestled up close to you. My thought is: the time passes so very quickly. I would much rather take a few moments for a "snack" to snuggle close than have my sweet baby in want.
I can still remember nursing my oldest like it was just yesterday and I can tell you one thing for sure: I wish I had done it differently.
Blessings,
Joshalyn
I'm sorry if this comes across as harsh, I don't mean it to be. but I suggest you read what actual breastfeeding experts recommend (like LLL or lactation consultants, or the AAP) and that is feeding on demand. Your baby will STILL get "good, full feedings" as you said and they regulate themselves onto a pretty predictable schedule by 8 or so weeks anyway. For some babies its eating every 1.5 hours or less and others its every 3 hours... all babies are different and don't fit into the one-size fits all approach that sound so appealing and easy in the books. It is the absolute best thing for your milk supply and your baby (exception being an overly sleepy baby eating less than 8-12x per day or not gaining weight), not to mention your sanity. No looking at the clock, no stress over whether you should feed your baby or not or wake them up from naps to keep them on schedule, no having to listen to your baby cry because they aren't adapting well to the feeding schedule, etc. A baby's wants ARE his needs, there is no way a baby is capable of manipulation. I'm curious how you know he's not hungry when he's crying less than 3 hours from last feeding? Babies go through several growth spurts in the first weeks/months and increase their demand to nurse to increase your supply. I know this method of parenting is huge in certain Christian groups as the "Godly way", but really? I don't understand how something so unnatural (can you imagine Mary worrying about whether it was too soon for Jesus' next feeding?) can be "God's way" just because "God is a God of order"? Not to mention - with feeding on demand, cosleeping, not using bottles/pacifiers, or long seperation of mom/baby you get what's referred to as "lactation amenorrhea" which means you won't have periods for a good long time in MOST cases, so you have truly natural child spacing (will be 2.5 years in our case), and I think that's a better case for what is God's way (I know you havent said anything about scheduling as "Gods way", just a little vent bec I think I know what books/cds you are referring to ;-) and I've been wanting to make a blog post about this myself). I know some self-identified "experts" will say your baby will cry more and be a "spoiled" terror and you will be more likely to get PPD and have low milk supply but its just not the case :(.
Your baby is the best book... just follow their cues and your INSTINCTS. That's all God sent your baby with, after all ;-)
Here is a quote from Dr. Sear's website on why nursing on demand actually leads to getting more of the good, fatty hindmilk. "The fat content of human milk changes constantly. Typically, fat levels are low at the beginning of a feeding and high at the end. Babies nurse eagerly to get the low-fat, thirst-quenching foremilk, then slow down and linger over the high-fat dessert at the end of their meal. Babies who nurse again soon after the end of the last feeding get more high-fat milk, so babies who breastfeed more frequently during a growth spurt get more calories. Longer intervals between feedings bring down the fat content of the milk stored in the breast. This nutritional fact of human milk is one of the many reasons why the rigid 3 to 4 hour scheduled style of feeding is biologically incorrect."
I know you said his weight gain has been good, but if he is getting too much foremilk that could definitely be causing the gassiness/upset stomach/fussiness. Do you switch sides when you nurse him? Sometimes staying on the same side for a whole feeding helps them get as much hindmilk as possible (along with nursing on demand)
Sorry, hopefully this is helpful.... and sorry to get so off-track on the whole "God's way" thing, just a pet peeve of mine. lol
I feel like I need to add, like Monica said - if you are formula feeding ( you didn't specify or make any specific comments towards breastfeeding, I just assumed) that is totally different - formula digests much slower, so putting them on a schedule isn't the same as putting a breastfed baby on a schedule. I can't remember the exact numbers but I think breastmilk is digested in 1.5 hours, whereas formula is 2-3hours. huge difference! :)
I always fed on demand. I try to not look at the clock and just the ques from my baby. Usually about 3 to 4 months old my babies always seem to put themselves on a routine. Good Luck!
Raechel
Well, you already know that I bf on demand. I've done it both ways and I can say that my kids and I are much happier when I bf on demand. Not only did they sleep better, but they were more content and I was positive they were getting enough to eat, instead of having to guess with the other method. I know they say if you don't schedule, your child will be spoiled, but I haven't found that to be true. Aren't all babies sinners and have a tendency for selfishness just like we adults do?
I have found that usually around the 2-3 month mark they do settle in a predictable routine/schedule and I am able to accomplish a lot. All 5 of my kids have slept through the night at an early age and would sleep much longer than most babies. They were so happy, content, and loved!
I also agree with the natural spacing that was mentioned in one of the comments. I think it's God's way to ensure that you don't have babies too close together which in turn could possibly harm your health and be too soon for the mother or other baby. I'm a full believer that it's best for babies to be bf for at least a year and conceiving a baby before that first year is over cuts down on that nutrition and much needed bonding with mom.
With that said, of course you know what's best for you and your family. I don't think there's necessarily a cookie cutter approach as each child is different and have different needs- physically, emotionally, and spiritually! I think a lot of prayer, motherly instinct, and seeking guidance in Scripture won't steer you in the wrong direction.
Many blessings and God bless you! :)
My first visit here. You have a beautiful baby boy.
I am a Mennonite Momma to eight precious children four by birth and four by adoption. I have had the joy of nursing them all.
With my first, I stressed and tried really hard to follow the Ezzo method of scheduling. I am so sad and sorry I did that. My baby was much ahppier and so was i when I tossed out the schedule.
Today, my youngest baby still at the breast will turn one next week. I am a responsive breastfeeding Momma.
When he ask to nurse I meet his need. Psalm 22:9 "Thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breast." God designed this season to teach a baby hope.
I wear no watch, I never look at the clock. Breastfeeding is so much more than just giving food. We share giggles, socialization, comfort...Ezzo also teaches woman other things that hurt women such as birth control...
I would encourge you to drink a lot and slowly enjoy these fleeting days of baby. Let him nurse when he wants. Soon enough, he will be done.
Blessings, your site is lovely.
Hi Lauren!
I'm definitely outnumbered, lol! Dr. Denmark was our pediatrician while I was growing up. She is 108 years old, is a christian, and has seen the results of inexperienced doctors "practicing" new methods of feeding. I love her advice and schedule! She explains that it takes three full hours for a baby's stomach to digest it's food. If you feed a baby before those three hours are up, then it upsets the baby's stomach, and he will cry. Then the mother usually feeds him more food which upsets his tummy more, and so on. I feed my babies three and half to four hours apart, and my babies are not fussy at all, and they sleep through the night. If I wait till their food has digested and they have worked up a little bit of hunger, then they will eat a good full meal and be very happy till the next feeding. But in the end, I think the mother should do what works with her schedule and family:) Everytime I have a question I go to my book "Dr. Denmark said it" and the answers have always helped me. Hope you find what works for you!
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