"As a mother it is so easy for me to get bent out of shape and irritated over dealing with strife that I become the product of what I’m trying to avoid in my children. It doesn’t do much good to fly off the handle because my child is not being flexible…or snap as I try to teach them gentleness…now there’s a moment of truth."
Is it a sign of weakness for me to post this quote, and admit that it was very timely?
Yes, I think it is. But I'll be the first one to admit that I've been very weak in this area recently! With all of the stress of a busy schedule and trying to get things organized before possible bedrest, I'm afraid I haven't had a lot of patience left for the boys. And on top of all that, Miles got croup. Little Tait has a cold, and is having trouble sleeping at night. They've both been tired and grumpy (probably taking their cues from a tired and grumpy mommy). I've got a weird cough - either the beginnings of a cold, or the result of breathing in too much dust during the organizing process. And of course, pregnancy hormones probably aren't helping me out too much either.
On top of all that, I feel like I live in a pigsty. Okay, so I'm grossly exaggerating here. : ) But I do so hate disorganization! We've had everything strewn all over the living room during this organizing process, and I've put off cleaning and dusting until I can actually walk across the room without feeling like I'm navigating a maze, and until the floor is somewhat visible. It's hiding somewhere under all of the boxes and bins at the moment.
With all that said, yesterday was a very productive day (thanks to my sweet mother-in-law watching the boys for the afternoon!), and I finally feel like we're on our way to digging ourselves out of the piles - piles of outgrown baby clothes, books that have no bookshelf, and lots and lots of real estate and household papers. Progress is always nice. : )
My husband had a heart-to-heart with me yesterday about my attitude, and how it affects the boys. I used to pride myself on keeping my voice completely controlled when dealing with misbehavior. Oops! What's that verse ... something about pride going before a fall? Well, the pride phase lasted a few months before the fall phase took over, gradually but completely.
The above quote really drove home the fact that I have to be the example for the little guys. Getting upset, losing control of my voice, and losing my patience, will not teach Little Tait to keep control over his anger and frustration when Miles takes his toy. Nor will it teach Miles to get a hold of himself (i.e. no screaming) when Mommy or Daddy tell him no.
This has been good for me to think through! Thank you Kelly, for your wise and timely words!
And now, I'm off to finish labeling and sorting the bins before their transport to the storage area downstairs, clean out the cabinet for the installation of our double wall oven (yay!), make ice cream to take along to dinner at a friend's house tonight, work on some nasty stained clothes, change the sheets, work on the laundry, help hubby clean up our storage area, file papers....
Or at least, I'm off to make some progress on that long list, while the boys are napping at Tait's parents' house. (Thank the Lord for godly, helpful, understanding, nearby parents-in-law!)