Saturday, February 26, 2011

A Sign of Weakness?

"As a mother it is so easy for me to get bent out of shape and irritated over dealing with strife that I become the product of what I’m trying to avoid in my children. It doesn’t do much good to fly off the handle because my child is not being flexible…or snap as I try to teach them gentleness…now there’s a moment of truth."
-Kelly, in her article entitled
"What Can a Mother do About Sibling Strife,"
on her very encouraging and practical blog Generation Cedar



Is it a sign of weakness for me to post this quote, and admit that it was very timely?

Yes, I think it is. But I'll be the first one to admit that I've been very weak in this area recently! With all of the stress of a busy schedule and trying to get things organized before possible bedrest, I'm afraid I haven't had a lot of patience left for the boys. And on top of all that, Miles got croup. Little Tait has a cold, and is having trouble sleeping at night. They've both been tired and grumpy (probably taking their cues from a tired and grumpy mommy). I've got a weird cough - either the beginnings of a cold, or the result of breathing in too much dust during the organizing process. And of course, pregnancy hormones probably aren't helping me out too much either.

On top of all that, I feel like I live in a pigsty. Okay, so I'm grossly exaggerating here. : ) But I do so hate disorganization! We've had everything strewn all over the living room during this organizing process, and I've put off cleaning and dusting until I can actually walk across the room without feeling like I'm navigating a maze, and until the floor is somewhat visible. It's hiding somewhere under all of the boxes and bins at the moment.

With all that said, yesterday was a very productive day (thanks to my sweet mother-in-law watching the boys for the afternoon!), and I finally feel like we're on our way to digging ourselves out of the piles - piles of outgrown baby clothes, books that have no bookshelf, and lots and lots of real estate and household papers. Progress is always nice. : )

My husband had a heart-to-heart with me yesterday about my attitude, and how it affects the boys. I used to pride myself on keeping my voice completely controlled when dealing with misbehavior. Oops! What's that verse ... something about pride going before a fall? Well, the pride phase lasted a few months before the fall phase took over, gradually but completely.

The above quote really drove home the fact that I have to be the example for the little guys. Getting upset, losing control of my voice, and losing my patience, will not teach Little Tait to keep control over his anger and frustration when Miles takes his toy. Nor will it teach Miles to get a hold of himself (i.e. no screaming) when Mommy or Daddy tell him no.

This has been good for me to think through! Thank you Kelly, for your wise and timely words!

And now, I'm off to finish labeling and sorting the bins before their transport to the storage area downstairs, clean out the cabinet for the installation of our double wall oven (yay!), make ice cream to take along to dinner at a friend's house tonight, work on some nasty stained clothes, change the sheets, work on the laundry, help hubby clean up our storage area, file papers....

Or at least, I'm off to make some progress on that long list, while the boys are napping at Tait's parents' house. (Thank the Lord for godly, helpful, understanding, nearby parents-in-law!)

6 comments:

Unknown said...

If it is a sign of weakness then I am there with you! I only have one...a 10 month old son. It is so hard to "practice what I preach" and demonstrate that fruit of the Spirit that I so often sing to my little one about. I like to blame my upbringing...being raised in a non-Christian home with fighting and screaming round the clock. But Christ has delivered me from that, why is it so hard to accept that and move beyond the past? It sounds like you have a very wise and godly husband. Praise the Lord for that! :0) Hope you get that list dwindled down soon. Have a great night!

Monica said...

Oh Lauren, what a great post. I've been thinking about this often as well lately, my patience has been a little thin too and it does reflect in my children's (especially Gemma's) behavior.

I was flossing my teeth the other night, and Gemma had some floss and was flossing (as well as a three year old can by herself) as well, and it blew my mind how she mimicked every move I made...twisting the floss around her fingers, putting it in her mouth, etc. etc. And it got me thinking, if she watches me so closely and imitates something as mundane as tooth-flossing, then goodness, she must be watching and imitating every move I make. No wonder she has problems with patience and tantrums. ;-D

And OH pride. It is an ugly monster for sure. The spiritual director I meet with regularly often reminds me how so many of my sins can be traced back to pride.

I often pray for the fruits of the spirit to be more evident in my actions. We have a Bible songs CD and Gemma really likes the song about the fruit of the spirit. It always gets me thinking...peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control...

I'll say a prayer for you...say one for me too, friend, as we mother our children thousands of miles apart!

Blessings!!

Blessings Abound said...

Well... I wouldn't say it necessarily a sign of weakness. It's the trials and tribulations of being a mother. It can be trying at times to always keep our cool and we aren't perfect, especially when we have little ones who do test our patience so well. I know when I get to feeling that way, I often have to give myself a time out, read some Scripture, pray, and take action against losing my cool. It helps to keep reminding myself that they are looking up to me as an example. I'm far from being the ideal mother I want to be or that God wants me to be, but I am striving to be a better mother and follower in Christ every day, even if some days I feel I'm going two steps backwards instead of forward. Motherhood is tough, but we can push through with the grace of God and the perseverance of His Spirit in us! :)

OurLilFullFam said...

What an honest post! We all struggle, the important part is learning through those times.

I often laugh when people tell me I am more patient than they are because of the amount of children I have. That is why God gave me this many - to teach me patience!!

Stephanie

WesLea And Company said...

LOL, pretty funny cause that is what I've been working on the last couple of months. I was so discouraged about my kids lack of self control (usually in the toy-taking, and screaming areas) until Wesley asked me if I was losing my cool with them during the day. Total eye opener! Anyways, cheers, and hopefully we'll all keep learning to be the Christ-like examples for our little people:)
~Rachel

The Zimmerman Family said...

Dawn - I think it's a weakness that all mother struggle with at one time or another. For me at least, it's an up-and-down battle. Some days are good, some are not. Guess I'll just have to keep workin' on it! :D

Monica - I know! It's just incredible (and super scary at times!) how carefully Little Tait watches and imitates our every move! I remember, about 6 months ago, a day or two after Tait assembled his desk, Little Tait (maybe 22 months at the time?) got down with the screwdriver to "fix" Daddy's desk, sticking his tool in exactly the same nearly invisible holes that Tait had.

Little guys are definitely masters at imitation - something to constantly keep in mind! : )

Jacquie - Thanks so much for the encouragement! Now, if I could just find time for that "time out".... ;D

Stephanie - Yes, the little guys certainly either completely drain me of patience, or help me build up more patience! I've got to work on it having the latter effect. :D

Rachel - It's always nice to hear that other moms struggle with the same things I do! (Not that I'm glad other moms have problems; it's just nice to know that I'm not the only one.) :D I've definitely been realizing recently how we, as parents, pretty much completely set the example for the little guys. With toddlers (or any age children, for that matter!), "Do as I say, not as I do" definitely doesn't work at all. ;D